How Old Is Hillary?

After yesterday’s great announcement by 43-year-old Senator Marco Rubio, where he contrasted himself with “yesterday” candidates, readers at Ace of Spades had their own commentary.

They added their input to the question “How old is Hillary Clinton?” Here are a few quips:

Hillary so old, her prom theme was “Enchantment Under the Pharaohs.”

Hillary so old, Ken Burns keeps following her around with a group of fiddlers.

Hillary so old, her main concern in fashion is quality wolfproofing.

Hillary so old, she’s flip-flopped on Alchemy.

Hillary is so old, she remembers the Big Bang, vividly. And it’s all she can talk about any more.

Hillary’s so old she grew up on the residuals from her dad’s great invention: the wheel.

It’s nice to be king and first!

Hillary so old that she makes Abe Vigoda look young

Hillary’s so old she was BFF’s with Sapho.

Hillary is so old her Social Security number is 83

Hillary’s so old she still calls William the Conqueror “that nice young Frenchman.”

Hillary is so old that she remembers when Mr. Clean had an afro.

Hillary is so old that when she was in high school there wasn’t a history class.

.. she won’t buy a green banana

Hillary so old she tells God to get off her lawn.

HIllary’s so old her first job was cleaning Pterodactyl cages.

Hillary so old that when God said, “Let their be light” He told her to get her fat ass out of the way.

Hillary’s so old she jousted on dinosaur-back.

Hillary is so old, she remembers the Big Bang, vividly. And it’s all she can talk about any more.

Hillary is so old that when she was a kid, rainbows were in black and white.

Hillary’s so old that Copernicus originally theorized the planets revolved around her.

Hillary is so old, her birth certificate lists place of birth as Pangea.

30 Hillary is so old, she is listed on the periodic table, (Hy).

When Hillary was young the Grand Canyon was still known as the Colorado River valley.

Hillary’s so old, Pepperidge Farm can’t even remember when she was middle-aged.

Hillary so old, she remembers the first fire drill from the first time man made fire.

Hillary is so old, she remembers when Coke had real coke in it.

Not saying Hillary is old…

But she learned all her kindness from watching the critters of the Forest…

Raptors…
Hillary is so old she bought her email server at a Radio Shack

Hillary is so old during her internship at law school she represented the original Black Panthers

Hillary is so old she was the model at Lascaux.

… she can remember the day when Bill was monogomous

Not saying she is old…

but we NEVER should have let her on the Ark…

Hillary is so old, she still uses sand-dollars.

Hillary is so old she used to be a Goldwater Girl

Hillary is so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Hillary is so old that when she walked out of the Smithsonian, the alarm went off.

Hillary’s so old, she remembers when the Democrat Party was actually pro-American.

Hillary is so old, she remembers being set loose at Christians in the Coliseum.

Hillary can refute the notion of both the Medieval Warming Period and the Little Ice Age. Personally.

I think Hillary is hot for her age. She’s a cougar sabretooth.
Hillary’s so old, she remembers when an Old Fashioned was New and Improved.

... Leave a Reply