More on Rubio’s Life of Crime

The New York Times went looking and found 17 traffic violations for Senator Marco Rubio and his wife in the past 18 years. Only four of them were by Marco; the rest were his wife’s.

The Old Gray Lady found this conduct scandalous and not worthy of a presidential candidate. Obviously Rubio is now not worthy of the office. They must think he should get out of the race immediately and accede to the chauffeur driven, I-haven’t-driven-in-20-years Hillary Clinton. Could this have something to do with his being a terrific opposition to their beloved Democrat?

Heavens no!

Well, hell yes!

Twitterites took up the banner immediately and started #StopRubioCrimeSpree. They came up with some pretty humorous other “crimes” he probably did and hasn’t shared with us yet.

Father swam to Florida from Cuba only 25 minutes after eating lunch

Snuck into an R-rated movie when he was 17.

Once ran with scissors despite being warned.

I have heard rumours that @marcorubio did not use his turn signal once when switching lanes

Once stepped on a crack, even though he knew it could break his mother’s back!

Marco and his wife conspired to make a rolling stop
CLEARLY guilty of failing to take that 12 weeks for 1$ deal @nytimes has so they (basically) TP’d his house

Once announced he had been to all 57 states. Oh, wait…

Doesn’t love “I Love Lucy”

What REALLY happened to Harry Reid’s eye?

Didn’t read Apple End User License Agreement but still clicked “I Agree”

Red wine with fish.
Didn’t let it mellow, despite it being yellow

That big movie series was originally titled, “The Fast and the Floridians.”

Once went through Publix express checkout lane with 11 items
Broke federal records act, used private email server and then got rid of it and wiped it clean. Oh wait…
Took foreign donations from Saudi Arabia, Oman, Qatar, United Arab Emirates. Oh wait…

Prefers his martinis stirred, not shaken.
As a teen, went up the down escalator at a mall.
Didn’t use a teleprompter to make a speech.
Ordered an Egg McMuffin at 11:03 am

Marco once picked all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box.
Didn’t re-rack his weights.

Once drove a car off a bridge in Chappaquiddick….oh wait, never mind.

Let the dentist believe he flosses more regularly than he does.

Took the trash out but didn’t put a new liner in.

His rug didn’t tie the room together, man.
Parked van in handicapped parking space. Oh. Wait.
A FOIA request to Blockbuster reveals that once in 2001 the Rubios weren’t “Kind” & didn’t “Rewind”

Then others asked:

Remember when .@nytimes sent reporters to Chicago find out why BOTH OBAMAS LOST their 6-FIGURE law licenses? Me neither

One observed:
The scary thing: It took 2 NYT reporters & 1 researcher to write this irrelevant pile of bs.
And the best conclusion:
End the #RubioCrimeSpree by giving him a presidential limo and motorcade.

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