Through the Looking Glass

Ever since Hillary Clinton won the presidency last Tuesday night, the press has been reporting about the vote and about the future.

She won the Electoral College and not the popular vote. This has made some citizens angry, but ABC, CBS and NBC have been quick to respond to critics.

“The Electoral College absolutely enshrines our democracy,” said one ABC commentator. “Remember, we are not a pure democracy, but a constitutional one. Our forefathers had the wisdom to see that the population in large rural areas could somehow deliver a vote favorable to them, leaving cities like New York, Chicago and Los Angeles without a voice. Only a Republican knuckledragger could fail to see the genius of it.”

A Washington Post writer added, “It would be tyranny to have one group basically enslave another. Hillary Clinton understands this. It would have been nice to win the popular vote, but that’s not what the rules require and we are all about the rule of law in this country, are we not?”

From the New York Times comes a report about protests breaking out across the nation after Hillary won the election.
“There is no place for this violence in our country,” a NYT writer said. “The populace must accept that Hillary won. The people on the streets are misogynistic racists. Most of them need to be locked up. This is not freedom of speech, but freedom to take license against a duly elected official, Hillary Clinton.”

The angry mobs have appeared in rural areas across the U.S. “Why are they wasting their time?” one reporter asked, “when they are only hurting their own voters – if they voted. Next election we will have to crack down on all the unregistered people and children who may have gotten away with casting a ballot this time.” A Democrat Senator has called for another look at voting rolls and registers to pass laws making it harder for fraud and cheating to occur.

On CNN, an angry panel confronted another issue bubbling among the opposition.

“Breitbart has reported that Clinton’s transition team is in disarray,” a CNN moderator said. “This is insulting! And after they promised to be more fair to Hillary after Trump’s loss. Obviously it takes time to pick a cabinet. What’s the rush? She has til January 20th, or do they not get that, being of inferior intellects?”

His co panelist was quick to add, “Hillary is taking her time to be thoughtful and discerning. Who she picks will be around for perhaps eight years, enacting policies that will effect every American. Don’t rush into anything, Hillary! Pick the best people and don’t listen to the naysayers.”

At Bloomberg News, another panel took up the calls for Hillary and her family to sever ties with their family “business,” the Clinton Foundation.

“Why should they?” a female reporter asked. “She’s spent a lifetime building up the Foundation, traveling around the world and risking her own personal capital to grow this Foundation into something recognized world wide. Chelsea can handle it with Bill and there will be no overlapping when it comes to governing and the Foundation.”

Which brought them to another topic.

“Last night the Clintons decided to go out for dinner at 21. They didn’t tell the press that they were going out and now Drudge is making a big deal about it. How ridiculous! Aren’t they entitled to a break from all that work? Do we really need to know about every move she makes? Can’t she have a little time with the family to unwind? It’s healthy for her and her family relationships. What will they criticize next?”

Pundits added that she can always take to Twitter when the press veers from the truth. “She’s used it brilliantly in the past to get through to her voters,” a reporter added. “People like to know what the POTUS thinks.”

“Next they’ll be attacking her temperament,” he said. “We all know that someone’s personal feelings should not be criticized or curtailed.”

Apologies to Lewis Carroll and Alice herself.

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