A Solution for Illinois

Illinois has been run by Democrats for most of our lives. It’s considered a sure thing for the presidency. Democrat Mayor Daley ran Chicago for decades. Now it’s Democrat Rahm Emmanuel. They’ve both run the city into the ground and now the Democrats have succeeded in running the entire state in the ground with massive deficits and bankruptcy.

Right now legislators are in a deadlock with the Republican governor. He inherited the nasty problem of impending bankruptcy when he took over. He doesn’t want to raise taxes, but even Republicans in their legislature are feeling the pressure to do so to alleviate the problem. It’s a win/win for Democrats who love to raise taxes and can blame that on the governor if it happens.

Some have suggested, really in jest, that the state be broken up and parts taken in by surrounding states like Iowa, Wisconsin, Missouri, Indiana and Kentucky. Of course they’d be idiots to take them in and so would the GOP to want this. We just got all those state in the last presidential election and we don’t need our good conservative votes watered down by their uber left populace.

So what to do?

I have another solution. How about if Bill Gates, Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett or any of the other liberal uber rich who love to wag their fingers at the right and go all preacher man at us pony up and buy the place? I’m sure they could get a good deal. Their fellow libs would embrace them. Together they could govern. It could be the utopia they’ve been seeking.
So there’s a bankruptcy problem. Red is their favorite color, right? And their geniuses – at least to each other. Surely they could figure out the way to solvency.

The new commissars could tax themselves crazy, implement free health care, pay for college for everyone, invite in immigrants. They’ve already gone gun free in Chicago, so they’d feel at home there. They could see how their belief in few prison sentences for criminals works out. It’s the world they’ve always wanted.

Hollywood and all those threatening to go to Canada would flock to the place. It would be perfect for Michael Moore. He’s from nearby Michigan anyway. Tech companies could move from Silicon Valley. They’d get used to the Chicago weather eventually. Well, maybe.

It would be tough for the conservatives in the rest of the state, but liberals love to lord it over us anyhow so that would make them happy.

Just think how happy the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, etc. would be. Maybe they’d want to HQ there, too. They wouldn’t have to suffer the barbarities of Donald J. Trump as president. The media could have a lovefest for Illinois and its new leaders that would excite them.

Don’t forget, too, that their favorite leader, Hillary Clinton, is originally from the Land of Lincoln. Maybe they could put her up as president of the state. I’m sure she’d be ready to go.

Without Illinois, what would the rest of us miss anyhow? Deep dish pizza? For the few who love that we could work up our own duplicate. Stories about weekend murders in Chicago? It’d be nice not to have to hear that every holiday. No more Oprah? What a relief that would be.

Of course Obama is from Chicago, too. Supposedly. He’d probably yield to Hillary since his taste runs more to the exotic, tropical paradises Cook County can’t provide. Perhaps he could be ambassador to the world for her. He’d love that.

If the Clinton Foundation moved there, they could really do some good shakedown work. That alone might save the state.

I really see no negatives to the loss of Illinois.

In fact, it sounds pretty good.

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