Adventures in Midtownland

Sometimes it’s hard out here for a Republican.

Take yesterday. It was a typical day here in Midtown. I was looking at Nextdoor and up pops this email notification: “3 boys with an axe?”

The author described a scene she had just watched. Three young men, “maybe teenagers,” were walking down South Idlewild, with coats on (it was 75 degrees) and one appeared to have an axe in his pocket. It was around noon on a school day.

Just your typical day in this crime drenched city.

Later that afternoon, on a walk, there were still plenty of Halloween decorations adorning lawns. They probably will be as Midtowners sometimes keep Christmas ones up for months after the holiday has departed.

Anyhow, one drew my attention. It was at a house that has the trite sign “In this house we believe love is love, science is real, etc.” It’s also a house that has proclaimed its adoration for Obama ever since 2008 and last year’s allegiance to Hillary. There they had Halloween decorations on the lawn. One was especially noticeable.

Wrapped on a tree trunk by various mummy like shrouds and/or spider webs was President Trump. Crawling up him were several large spiders. Obviously this family adheres to their liberal love of all people and respects others’ beliefs, eh?

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the last episode of the day.

We were walking our dog when a neighbor putting out his trash can yelled over, “Can you believe this weather?” I responded that I like it, but the double coated dog doesn’t appreciate a warm day in November.

The neighbor nodded and said, “Can you believe some people still don’t believe in global warming?”

Me: “I don’t!”

He was incredulous. “You don’t?” he asked.

Me: “Not at all!”

Him: “It was one degree shy of a record.”

We left it at that, but I couldn’t help remembering a day back in December 1980. My future husband and I were biking and it was around 80 degrees. Our record high was also in 1980, July 13, when the thermometer hit 108. That was 37 years ago before all the global warming nonsense started. Just a decade earlier we had been warned of global cooling.

Weather happens. It may be 32 again in the next week. It’s just how it goes.

At the end, I just had to laugh. Conservatives and Republicans here feel like the cutting edge, don’t we? Liberals think they are, but their beliefs are just as misguided as flat earth believers centuries before. Or those who attached leeches to sick people or thought up spontaneous generation.

Let them live in their not so glorious past. Let them cling to their bitter beliefs. In Midtown we’re the radicals.
Funny.

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