Biden Gives Us New Word

Recently Joe Biden gave a heartwarming story about a heroic soldier refusing the Medal of Honor.

Only one problem: none of it was true. He made it. This is not a new thing with Biden, but he is clearly perfecting his technique. He not only tells a whopper now, but he also embellishes it, taking snippets of stories and patching them together in one outrageous tale.

Surely this accomplishment should earn him a spot in Miriam Webster.

I see it as a verb. “To Biden” would not mean the same thing as to fabricate or lie. It’s much more colorful than that and implies self heroics and personal involvement. You couldn’t “Biden” for example, if you just told a story that was not true. You couldn’t be considered to “Biden” either if you yourself were not present in it – in fact, have a major role – in the big mendacity you’re spinning. It would also involve taking various different events at different times and weaving them into the narrative. And, you have to give the oath of authenticity, too. Joe called the story “God’s truth, my word as a Biden.”

That word as a Biden should indicate that he’s lying. He started early perfecting his technique. At Syracuse University College of Law, Newsweek reports “Biden used five pages from a published law review article without quotation or attribution,” according to a faculty report. He cited the source in only a single footnote. In a letter to law school faculty pleading not to be dismissed, Biden wrote, “if I had intended to cheat, would I have been so stupid? … I value my word above all else.”

Who can forget his first run for president in 1988 (not so much for that, but for what kicked him out)? He clearly plagiarized British Labor politician Neil Kinnock. Kinnock said: “Why am I the first Kinnock in a thousand generations to be able to get to university? [Pointing to his wife in the audience:] Why is Glenys the first woman in her family in a thousand generations to be able to get to university? Was it because all our predecessors were thick?”

Biden said:

“I started thinking as I was coming over here, why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university? [Pointing to his wife in the audience:] Why is it that my wife who is sitting out there in the audience is the first in her family to ever go to college? Is it because our fathers and mothers were not bright? Is it because I’m the first Biden in a thousand generations to get a college and a graduate degree that I was smarter than the rest?”

You see, to Biden means that you don’t even find anything wrong with your tall tales.

Hillary Clinton has clearly Bidened. Remember her story about landing in Bosnia? She said, “I remember landing under sniper fire. “There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.”

News footage of the event however showed her claims to have been wide of the mark, and reporters who accompanied her stated that there was no sniper fire. In fact, pictures showed her being greeted by a young girl with flowers.

Maybe the dictionary would have to add to its definition of “Biden” that it only applies to Democrats. They are the ones most likely to Biden.

But feel free to use it if your own family members or friends seem to place themselves in the middle of an unbelievable, virtue signalling story. Its usage should become widespread with the lack of ethical constraints we experience today in our country.

Candidate Biden will probably soon be forgotten, but his legacy will at least be something that adds to the glory of the English language’s descriptive powers.

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