President Obama came back from vacation and will be announcing his new jobs plan shortly. Actually, it doesn’t sound like it will be much different from this interview he gave after his Martha’s Vineyard vacation last year.
Whatever. Probably the 2011 speech will be more of the same.
In the interest of real ideas for jobs, I have come up with a few of my own. President Obama, feel free to lift these.
How about we expand school to 13 grades? That’s right, pre-pre-K, pre-K, Kindergarten, then 1-13. This is an all around win for everyone. Parents will be relieved of childcare practically the moment mom gets up from the wheelchair to leave the hospital. Parents get an extra year of free child care for kids in those difficult latter teen years. For teachers, it expands demand. We will need more teachers to teach this 13th grade. Therefore, more employment! It will also delay job seekers in that pesky election year, thereby not adding to the unemployment rate. You say 13 is unlucky? Not for Obama when those Labor Dept. stats come out next June.
While we’re on the subject of schools, how about mandating that dogs go to school? K-9 academies, get it? Think how many idle dogs there are, running around and creating jobs for just trashmen and dog catchers. Sure, they’ll still be needed, but now we can employ many more people to teach dogs the basics: reading, riding and woofing. Given the amount of pets out there, it will unleash lots of new jobs for people. Don’t scoff, I’d be dogged about this if I were the president because once you mandate this, there are no excuses. Then, too, I’d like to see a dog actually admit he did eat someone’s homework.
Let’s make people retire at 45. That would free up a lot of jobs that young people could use. True, in the long run there is that teeny problem of retirement money, but we can kick that down the road a few more times, can’t we?
To raise money for all those retirees, how about a tax on walking? Excuse me, a revenue enhancement plan on walking. Everybody does it and it’s fair then, right? This, too, would require the hiring of many more people. You could have block monitors, kind of like school hall monitors, who could keep track of who was going in and out of the house. You want good health through exercise? Somebody’s got to pay for it. I’m sure Michelle would agree.
Finally, how about sharing a job? Why should an older or more qualified person get the job you’ve been looking for? Isn’t that selfish? If you’ve got a good paying job, share it! Do your patriotic duty and see your salary slashed in half. Think of all the hours more you’d get to relax. If you’re a surgeon, this could be a lifesaver for you. All that time standing in an operating room could be eased. In the middle of an operation, just take off the scrubs and hand the patient over to another doctor. He’d be sure to figure out what he’s doing before the patient’s anesthesia wore off.
It would be the same with lawyers in the court room, policemen on the beat, firefighters – well, you get the picture.
President Obama, you could come up with more ideas like these if you thought about it. After all, it’s kind of your job.