Liberal to Conservative Dictionary

John Hawkins at Right Wing News has provided us with translations for common words liberals use. Here’s what they really mean:

Compassion: Feeling good about yourself for wanting to give away money you didn’t earn to people you hope will vote for your side.

Conscience of the Senate: KKK member (Remember Robert Byrd?)

Flag: Something to be burned and walked on at protests or alternately, waved close to election time.

Greed: Wanting to keep what you earn instead of having it spent on Bridges to Nowhere and government loans to people who’ve contributed to Obama’s campaign.

Guns: Vicious weapons that force people to kill each other.

He’s in the pocket of big oil: He was once seen filling up the tank of his car with gas.

Jesus: Someone who shouldn’t ever be brought up in schools, other government buildings or politics in general unless you’re claiming he was really a liberal who’d be in favor of gay marriage and abortion.

Minorities: People who are too dumb and incompetent to make it without liberal help.

Our opponents refuse to compromise on this issue: The Republicans refuse to do everything we want.

Racism: A word you cry when you’re losing an argument with a conservative.

Taxes: A limitless supply of free money to be given away to liberal special interests in return for votes.

That charge is outrageous: That charge is true but it’s embarrassing that you brought it up in public.

Unfair attack: They quoted me.

We must address the root causes of this problem: We must not do anything to effectively address this problem. Instead we must raise taxes and pour dump trucks’ worth of money into whatever unrelated issue we have decided is the cause of the problem.

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