Wedding Bells Are Chiming

White House dossier blogger, Keith Koffler, had this hilarious “report:”

President Obama and Vice President Biden today decided to emphatically demonstrate their support for same-sex marriage by marrying each other.

The happy pair briefly appeared before reporters this morning to announce their engagement.

“He’s articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Biden said. “And I love him.”

A gushing Obama seemed at a loss for words.

“What can I say?” Obama said. “He makes me laugh.”

It’s hard to calculate the effect on the nation of the move. A president and a vice president have never been married before, although there is anecdotal evidence to suggest that Spiro Agnew once asked Richard Nixon to marry him. Agnew, according one version of the story, got down on one knee in the Green Room and proposed. Nixon replied, “Get the (expletive deleted) out of here you moron.”

Obama and Biden will each divorce their wives, who also plan to wed.

“Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden have been working and appearing together for the ‘Joining Forces’ campaign to support military families, and this just takes it a step further,” said a spokeswoman for Mrs. Obama.

The president and vice president will be married next month by Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg at the Holiday Inn in Silver Spring, Maryland.

“I’ve always wanted a June wedding, and there just weren’t any rooms available on such short notice,” said Biden in explaining the relatively modest venue for the event.

Peppered with questions from shocked reporters at today’s briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney described the wedding as a routine government event.

“Look, throughout history it has been the norm for the two heads of state to be married to each other,” Carney said. “I think everyone is aware that countries have traditionally been ruled by kings and queens.”

Carney said the decision for the two to marry was made two months ago, although “the president and vice president feel they have been destined for each other since birth.”

Presumptive Republican nominee Mitt Romney wished Obama and Biden well. “This sure makes my job a heck of a lot easier,” he said.

Obama and Biden plan to honeymoon on Nantucket. Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden will travel together to Fiji.

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