Channel 5’s headline asked “Is Your Alarm Clock Making You Fat?”
Now that’s a shocker. I had long suspected the alarm clock of evil deeds, but putting weight on me was not one of them. Now, according to this news report, I am vindicated.
However, it’s a little confusing. According to the government, it’s not just alarm clocks that are making me fat. It’s big corporations. That’s right – Kraft, Hershey’s, Sara Lee, Ben & Jerry’s; all these friends are plumping me up against my will. They have dared to make food so tasty I am rendered senseless in any brief encounter with them. Before I know it, they are jamming their products down my throat and me, helpless to do anything about it.
Michelle Obama agrees that they are culpable, but she has also said “food deserts” have blame, too. That’s deserts, not desserts, although she doesn’t seem to get upset when any ice cream scoops find their way to her mouth. Anyhow, food deserts being places in communities – or rather not places in communities – so that people in some areas have no access to the healthy fruits and vegetables she raves about. Sometimes (the horror!) such stores can be a mile or two from their homes. Instead of kale and cauliflower, these people can only scrounge up Little Debbies and barbecue potato chips at their local grocery. So, of course, the stores are to blame for their love handles and muffin tops.
Then there are researchers who tell me that being overweight is a matter of genetics. Don’t like how your body looks? Blame mom and dad – even grandma and grandpa. It works for every other character problem so why not weight? Body fat was your inheritance, so stuffing a whopper in your pie hole is really their fault. Other doctors tell us fat may come from a virus. This is a particularly appealing blame game. There you are, minding your own business when a handshake from the Salvation Army bell ringer you dropped a ten in passed along a legacy of fat to you. And you thought you were just weak natured when it comes to a Starbucks caramel macchiato with whipped cream!
Others say TV is making me fat – a couch potato. I get mesmerized watching it, refuse to get up and move around and start feeding at the chip trough. This is one topic, however, the networks don’t like to bring up.
What do all these theories have in common? Victimization. You or I had nothing to do with any weight problems. It’s bad corporations or society that explains the problem. Enter the government, savior of us all. It will stop these bad things from happening and rescue us.
Today it’s the alarm clock, but what’s alarming is the lack of responsibility we have opted for as Americans. Our ancestors did not apply morality to a hamburger. They knew that morality, ethics and doing the right thing comes from character not government.
Too bad responsibility is no longer in our diet. Maybe the question ought to be is TV news making me stupid.