What’s Popping With the Kernells?

The other night we were watching Channel 5’s 10 p.m. news when a bizarre story came on about State Representative Mike Kernell.

Kernell, if you’ll recall is the father of …Kernell who in 2008 supposedly hacked Sarah Palin’s website. He was later convicted of some charges concerning that. More on him later.

This time it was Poppa Kernell who was in the limelight. The story opened with Joe Birch headlining that a state rep. was the victim of a violent robbery. Reporter Konji Anthony had the story of “how he fought back” and that Kernell wanted to “equip (his constituents) with information on how to fight crime.”

Kernell says he was in his driveway when someone came at him from behind. “So I drove out of my driveway and turned the corner but he had already opened the door and said ‘I got a gun’ and with that you just give up.”

Then Anthony says “the suspects grabbed the state rep and threw him out of his car.” “I could not believe it that they had thrown me down on the ground and then they took off my pants,” Kernell said.

Wait a minute. This is the part of a show on TV where they make that funny zipping/ripping noise like a needle scratching a record to indicate someone just said or did something startling and unbelievable. Indeed, I am trying to picture this happening myself. He was driving the car, someone approached him and he didn’t drive off? He didn’t have his seat belt on? He didn’t have the doors locked? He didn’t honk the horn? How do you approach someone from behind but get him from the side? I just don’t get it.

But even more bizarre is them taking his pants off? Have I missed some new crime wave pattern? How does this happen and why? Couldn’t he have just handed over his wallet? Did he have his boxers or briefs on? Did they take those, too? What would be the point? Was there a sexual attack? Did they take his money or credit cards? Did any neighbors verify this? It’s outrageous.

Anthony takes it from here. Yes, she really did say, “but he had an ace in his hole.” I don’t want to go there!

Kernell says, “With my new phone I was able to track it with the GPS and find the phone and the person with the phone.”

Is this a commercial? Sounds like one.

At this point they cut to his campaign manager who continued the narrative saying he could track the phone and “did for four days all over Memphis.” Anthony explains how the phone sent a ping into cyberspace which allowed them to follow it. Whaat? And they sat there for four days?

“Kernell did not say where the phone was, eventually located” continues Anthony, “so he won’t interfere with the investigation.” Well, did they find them or not?

Kernell returns to say that the police “are out there ready to take a bullet for us and I think we need to support the police as much as we can.” The campaign managSer adds “his (Kernell’s) whole life is about the people and about working for the community. It’s sad. It breaks my heart.” At this she touches her heart and gets a little teary-eyed.

From what I understand Kernell has made a living out of working for the people. He doesn’t seem to have any other experience in business or finance in the real world the rest of us occupy.

Then yesterday Action News 5 reported on son David Kernell. Again it was Konji Anthony and what looked like the same local as the above story on Daddy Mike for the interview.

“This Independence Day Tennessee state representative Mike Kernell says his son David is now free to pursue the American dream,” Anthony says. “David Kernell was a 20-year-old UT Knoxville student in 2008 when the FBI charged him with hacking the personal Yahoo email account of then vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor Sarah Palin. Four years later David Kernell is completing his four year undergraduate degree at UT. He has switched his major from science to business and wants to be an attorney.”

Mike Kernell says he (his son) recently took his law school admissions tests and “he’s interested in possibly being a criminal defense attorney.” He has two and a half years left of probation. “Kernell says the incident changed his life.”

Yes and it disrupted the Palins, too.

“He went from a college student who was playing games,” continues Kernell, “to maybe someday being a defense attorney.”

In January a federal appeals court panel upheld the conviction and sentence “but Kernell says the case is not over,” according to Anthony. “We fully expect his case will be appealed to the Supreme Court,” Kernell said. It would be against the felony only. The Kernells contend the anticipatory obstruction of justice law was established for financial institutions, not individual people.

Not to mention that people with felonies can’t vote if I recall my civics class. Young David probably wants to follow dad’s path. The Supreme Court seems a bit of a stretch, but given what they did in the last few rulings, hey it could happen. Rules don’t seem to be quite so important nowadays as in those of the founders.

This whole robbery story followed by this son’s story seems bit stretched and suspicious. Could it have anything to do with the upcoming elections? When you can’t play the race cards, the Democrats may have to fall back on the sympathy card.

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