Kernells of Truth

When state representative Mike Kernell, Democrat, was interviewed by Action News 5 last week, he gave an odd account of how he lost his pants.

If you check a few articles below this one, I detailed his narration.

However, when the Commercial Appeal reported the incident on Wednesday, the story seemed to change.

“At about 1:30 in the morning on Friday, Kernell said, his cellphone was acting up, so he walked outside his Sherwood Forest house and sat in his car to finish the call,” writes the CA’s Jody Callahan.

“Suddenly a man ran up.

“I didn’t know what it was, so I tried to drive away. The guy had opened the door and said ‘I’ve got a gun,’ said Kernell, D-Memphis. “At first I didn’t know who it was. As soon as he said gun, well, bullets go faster than cars. I gave up. He pulled me out of the car, pushed me in the yard,” relates Callahan.

That’s a bit different from the version he told Konji Anthony:

Kernell says he was in his driveway when someone came at him from behind. “So I drove out of my driveway and turned the corner but he had already opened the door and said ‘I got a gun’ and with that you just give up.”

Then Anthony says “the suspects grabbed the state rep and threw him out of his car.” “I could not believe it that they had thrown me down on the ground and then they took off my pants,” Kernell said.

Now it seems it was night time. That’s a bit odd. In one story he was driving, in another he was sitting in the car. He says “at first I didn’t know who it was.” Did he recognize the person? Was the thief just walking down the street at an opportune moment and happened to see a chance to rob someone or was he lying in wait or did he stalk Kernell for some reason; a reason that involved taking his pants?

“At that point, Kernell thinks the bad guy was trying to get away as fast as he could. So the thug took Kernell’s phone, his wallet and his pants. Not just any pants, either; they’re handmade dress slacks, since Kernell said he’s hard to fit,” the CA says.

Just when you thought the story couldn’t get any more bizarre, it does. Odd to be wearing handmade dress slacks in your home at 1:30 in the morning. Odd that he wanted to include that bit of information.

In the CA, however, a little is left hanging. It ends with “Kernell then answered the question everyone was probably asking when they heard the news: ‘But I did…'” and then it’s cut off in the print version of the story.

To fill in the blanks for those who are interested, the online story continues: “But I did have an undergarment.”

Ugh.

If this story had involved a Republican, it would have made it to Jay Leno, Stephen Colbert, David Letterman and Jon Stewart.

Lucky for Kernell, his Democrat status had him covered.

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