Coming to a Grocery Store Near You

It was heartening, wasn’t it, to find out that should Obama win re-election, Michelle will concentrate the next four years on grocery stores.

Fox News reports:

Asked by Parade magazine, “What do you hope to accomplish in your second term?” First Lady Michelle Obama said she wants to “impact the nature of food in grocery stores” with the aim of cutting sugar, fat and salt.

“With ‘Lets Move!,’ our goal is to end the problem of childhood obesity in a generation,” Mrs. Obama said. “And while we’ve seen some very profound cultural shifts, we still have communities that don’t have access to affordable and healthy foods. We still need to find a way to impact the nature of food in grocery stores, in terms of sugar, fat, and salt.”

Mrs. Obama also discussed the challenge of “educating families” on healthy lifestyles in a society where “TV is rampant.”

Yes, it’s good to know the First Lady is looking out for you. While other First Ladies were concerned about teaching children to read or world peace or saving the planet, Michelle wants to be the Frito Bandito and save you from yourself.

One can only imagine what plans she’s hatching. Her husband favors drones to get rid of the enemy. Maybe Mrs. O will, too, only in grocery stores. While you’re busy perusing the aisles, a mini drone is watching what customers pick up. Too much fat in your basket and they could alarm the store or shoot it down right as you’re reaching for a twinkie.

Maybe they could have monitors on the carts. Mrs. O could give you thumbs up or thumbs down on your selections. She could flash a warning sign if you’ve picked up something too salty. It could trigger an extra tax on bill as your ring up your goods.

Or, they could take a tip from the British royal family. They have their list of royal warrant of appointment to signify that the queen really digs this stuff. Michelle could do that, too. A little logo could be placed on packages. A big, smiling Michelle if it’s heart healthy. A frown if it’s a little heavy on the fat and salt. A finger pointing Mrs. O if it’s forbidden and a seething Michelle if it’s totally out of bounds.

Yes, this possible second term looks like it would be a good one.

Hope you’re not hungry.

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