I’ll Take Manhattan (Not)

I know New Yorkers like Mayor Bloomberg scoff at cities like ours in flyover land. They see us as a bunch of knuckle dragging racists; obese and caring only about going to NASCAR races and UT or Bama football games. We have nothing else to preoccupy us since we don’t have access to Broadway, restaurants charging $87 an entree, couture boutiques and chi chi parties. Heck, we barely known enough to get out of the rain down here in Forgottenville. We look like Honey Boo Boo and think she’s cool and cute.

Of course, we know that all to be a fallacy. We have plenty of entertainment, restaurants that can compete with those in New York, a vibrant entertainment scene and plenty of fun loving people with imagination and style.

In addition, we have a lot New Yorkers don’t have. Take, for instance, a place to live that is bigger than a closet. (Remember how Bloomberg OK’d the downsizing of viable apartments to one barely big enough to hold a bed?) We can actually have a kitchen that can hold adult size refrigerators and ovens, space for equipment and room to cook. We can go outside without having to go out in the hall, wait for an elevator then descend with other people, just to go outside for a breath of fresh air. No wonder their brains get filled with stupid ideas!

If we want a car, we can have one and a place to park it, too. We can cross roads without paying $13 to enter Manhattan. If we want a dog, we can get one and let him out in a yard to TCB. We don’t need pee pee pads. Anyone who wants to grow a tomato or grill outside can do it – no license needed.

We can go out to a restaurant and add salt to our food. If we’re thirsty, we can get a 16 ounce or more soda. If we’re waiting for someone in the car and more than two minutes elapse, we don’t have to turn off the engine or leave and spend half an hour merely going around the block. We can wait the extra minute or two and not feel like we’re ruining the planet. Small things? Yes, but important markers of freedom.

When it comes to taxes, we are able to take home more pay because we don’t have New York’s state income tax or the other taxes they encrust on people as if they were ornaments on a Christmas tree. We can then spend it in our own city and enrich its merchants. When it comes to hospitals, we can got to one and the doctor here will prescribe all the pain killers he thinks I need. If I have a baby, the mayors of Memphis and Shelby County haven’t gone to the cabinet and removed all the formula the child would need should I opt out of breast feeding.

If our families need protection, we can still get a gun and learn to use it. If we lived in dangerous New York we might need it, but can’t have one. Nanny Bloomberg has come down on this issue as has president wannabe Andrew Cuomo like Honey Boo Boo on a corn dog. They don’t want guns anywhere in their city. Funny, it looks like deaths on the subway have escalated so much that they might want to put the same intensity on subways as they do guns. About 200 people a year die in the subway, either being pushed, suicide or accident; maybe Bloomberg should take another look at the safety of them. I doubt he’s even looked at the environmental impact they make, something he cares so much about. Yes, let’s outlaw the subway next.

The Zombies in New York have so accustomed themselves to a life without freedom they don’t even know what it means anymore. If that’s the kind of lifestyle they want, go right ahead. As a Republican I believe you have the right to live your life as you like.

Too bad you don’t return the feeling.

Bloomberg is popular and Obama is at something like 87% approval in NYC. Maybe one day New Yorkers will wake up. Until then, we in flyover are quite happy to live our lives of freedom. You’re welcome to join us when you shake off your bad dream.

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