Run for Your Lives – the Sequester Is Coming!

Republican House member Kevin McCarthy referred to Barack Obama as the “road trip president,” a very apt description for someone touting the dangers of the sequester but campaigning instead of solving it.

Sean Hannity referred to the March 1st event as the “Mayan Apocalypse Sequeseter.” He warned on his TV show what might happen:

However, Hannity overlooked a few things the sequester will do to us.

Baseball games will be cut to just 7 innings.
Sandwiches will have to be made with only one slice of bread!
There will be no meat inspectors to check hamburger meat to see if it is padded with horsemeat! Oh, wait. Nevermind.
Illegal aliens will be able to pour over the border. Hmm. Oh wait, nevermind here, too.
Downton Abbey’s dowager countess will have to start making commercials for Depends and the estate turned into a Six Flags.
Big Bird will have to wear posters advertising the Waffle House while Sesame Street is downsized to Sesame Cove.
Airplanes will only allow passengers on transcontinental flights one trip to the bathroom.
The Biggest Loser show will become the Biggest Gainer show as so many will have lost weight we’ll have to reward people who put on pounds.
Daylight savings time will trim the 24 hour day to 23 hours.
In short, every kind of horror you can imagine will descend on us like the plague because the government cuts back its growth by 2.3%!

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