Dog Days for O

Talked About Like a DogA bunch of us guys were lifting a few at the Hydrant, our favorite bar. The bosses had given us the day off since Labor Day means a backyard barbecue and some of us can’t hold our meat. (Did they really miss that rack of ribs I took last year? How was I supposed to know it wasn’t for me?)

Anyhow, the television was on and all of a sudden Barack Obama was on the screen. I hear him say “they talk about me like a dog.” All the woofing stopped at once and every ear in the place perked up.

“Son of a …” the usually quiet Akita started before the Scotty stepped in.

“Stop right there! Don’t talk about our moms like that,” he said. “Besides, maybe he really meant to say ‘dogged’ or ‘they talk doggerel,” he suggested.

“No,” said the poodle, who was still burning over the Tony Blair lap poodle analogy. “He means it in a negative way. These people are so politically incorrect I could barf,” he said.

“Take it easy,” said Splash. “Don’t get your leash in a knot. My boss Teddy was called a horn dog and I think he liked it. Although I kept his leg away from me whenever I could.”

“Just thank God you’re not Bo,” said the shepherd. “How’d you like that gig? The guy can’t even walk a Portugese water dog,” he said as he lapped his Heineken.

“Why even the Dog Whisperer’s jaw drops seeing that you know you’ve got a bigger problem than saving the House in November,” added the chihuahua. “And you can kiss those Blue Dogs there good-bye, by the way.”

“That Barack better hope he never gets stuck in a well or an avalanche,” said the St. Bernard. “What rescue dog worth his kibble would go help him out after this? And by the way, I need another brandy, the cask is running low if you know what I mean.”

“Like the economy,” said the lab, who never missed a chance for a leap in the conversational pool.

“Well, the way it’s going we won’t have him to kick around anymore in two more years,” said the cocker spaniel.

“If I were Bo I’d watch my back,” said the lab. “Remember what happened to Buddy? Not long after Clinton left the White House Buddy was ‘impeached.’ Right on the front of a car.”

“If he knows what’s good for him he’ll slip out of the House the next time the Missus is on vacation,” said the dachshund. “And we know that could be any other day,” they chortled.

“Better go home and rattle some cages,” said the terrier. “Besides this place closes in a few minutes. Meet you all back on Hump Day.”

“This time let’s keep that TV off. Or at least on Animal Planet. Next thing you know they’ll be saying the country’s going to the dogs.

“They should be so lucky!”

Poll Questions

Zogby sends me a poll to fill out during the election seasons.

In the past I have been puzzled by some of the weird questions they throw out that have involved everything from horoscopes to bathroom usage in pools. Whatever. I like to fill them out and take the opportunity to express my views.

But I have often had doubts about them and how they are used. For instance, some questions fail to have all the possible answers, as in “does not apply to me” or “I don’t know.” Taking their choices will not express my view.

Even so, you can cut Zogby some slack , I suppose, as  they are looking for easy to quantify results and numbers.

Still, I have questions as I do tonight. First, I notice that some candidates names don’t just have a circle to punch, but also a square around them, calling attention to them. That would usually be the Democrat candidates, and, not surprisingly, the Democrat candidate always seems to get the top billing, even if his name is alphabettically towards the end. That happened when the question of Tennessee governor came up. McWherter superseded Haslam, and had a square around his circle.

I punched Haslam and the program came to a screeching halt. I clicked on “Continue ” and nothing happened. The page  said 77% of the questionnaire had been completed, so it was not the end. I refreshed my browser and then, when I tried to resume the survey, a box popped up and said “Thank you for completing the survey.” I could not get back to where I was to finish.

I guess I don’t have a high opinion of pollsters or I would not have these questions about their intent. Perhaps these are all odd coincidences; but most of us today are savvy enough to believe our own “lying eyes” over theirs.

Top Ten Reasons We Want Bush Back

Victor Davis Hanson
Victor Davis Hanson

The astute historian Victor Davis Hanson has a must-read piece out today. He notes that Bush now polls better than Obama in Ohio (50-42) and in other hypothetical matchups. Why? Hanson counts the ways.

Here’s a taste (but you must really read it yourself): Obama is “whine and petulance versus Bush’s rugged individualism.” Obama is “stiff and uncomfortable with himself off the court or golf course.” O’s more yuppie (perhaps we should dust off the old ’80s term buppie) than “frat boy Bush.” “Axelrod and Emanuel could not stage a chainsawing task for Obama if they tried,” Hanson writes. “Severe injury would surely follow.” As for disasters, Bush had Katrina, O had BP. “Oh, how Nemesis likes to strike in the same locale!” says Hansen.

If you’re a Bush fan, you’ll enjoy this article. If you like Obama, it’s hard to deny the truth of what Hansen says.

October Surprise and What to Do about It

A secretive political adviser who goes by the name Obi Wan Kenobi posts from time to time on Hugh Hewitt and National Review. The sage shares his Madison Avenue/Wall Street opinions on how conservatives can capture popular opinion and turn it into electoral wins.

Frequently our side tends to quake and concede to the other side rather than stand and fight for our principles. His most recent caveats make for an interesting read. Take a look.

I agree that this year the Democrats will throw everything they can at our candidates. I would caution also not to believe a lot of what they put out. I’ve heard many things Michael Steele has said blown up to make him and Republicans look bad. Don’t fall for it. Unless I hear something personally – and in context – I’m not willing to concede that our side messed up. Think of who benefits from the smear? Who are the biggest targets? Who do they want to take out? After you consider this, it gives some perspective. Rush Limbaugh says you know who they fear by the ones they attack. So true!