Although the publishers have released President Barack Obama’s “Of Thee I Sing – a Letter to My Daughters,” a copy of the real book has fallen into the hands of Midtown Republican. The acknowledged book talks about the standard American heroes such as George Washington, Jackie Robinson and Georgia O’Keefe, but Sash and Malia already knew all that. They can’t get away from it, living in the White House as they do.
The real book Obama wanted to publish has his thoughts on other real American heroes. Let’s see what he wrote.
He starts with Benedict Arnold.
OK, so he switched sides. Isn’t that the same kind of thing as switching political parties? Kind of a bipartisanship?
So a bunch of backwater Yankees got fed up with taxation. Arnold understood that they should have embraced the big government move the British were making. Hey, eventually we would have had universal health care earlier than we do without all that bothersome blood shedding.
Arnold captured West Point so he could surrender it. Your welcome, America! At least in the end he got to retire to England and lived out his days happily with the Union Jack.
Next we’ve got J. Edgar Hoover.
Isn’t it about time a great American transvestite got his due? Kind of a trailblazer there, aside from his remarkable record keeping and that in the days before computers. The first director of the FBI used his power to harass political dissenters and activists in ways that Chicago politicians only dream about. Maybe some of this was illegal, but, hey itwas all for the common good. I like him because he took a post and kept it. No limits of two terms for J. Edgar. He served from 1935-1972; I’d like to do the same.
The next hero is a two-fer. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
American Communists, they saw the world in a different way and isn’t that good! They passed on nuclear information to the Soviets to help them get an atomic bomb. That was way ahead of my similar effort in pushing for nuclear proliferation reduction (mostly just on our part). I would say that sharing knowledge is a good thing, don’t you think? The clever Rosenbergs also managed to cause discord. Grassrooots protest about their executions gave social justice a bump. What a legacy!
Now William Ayers.
You don’t always get the chance to lionize someone you know personally, but William Ayers certainly gets my attention. An elementary education theorist (that’s where the propaganda really begins), Bill even babysat you girls, with his better half, Bernadine Dohrn. He opposed the Vietnam War when it wasn’t popular. You see violence is OK only when it’s used against the American people, never by American soldiers abroad trying to defend freedom there. The Weather Underground and its public bombings here was just trying to express that anti war thought. Besides, Bill helped me write my “autobiography” so I owe him one.
Then Margaret Sanger.
Girls, remember during the campaign when I said I wouldn’t want you punished with a baby? You can thank my next person for that one. Margaret Sanger made birth control and abortion acceptable in polite society. Think of the industries she spawned: Planned Parenthood, abortion clinics, pharmaceuticals and other birth control item manufacturers! She also gave us Democrats a way to divert money to our friends through federal funds to abortionists, both here and around the world. In the process she made a lot of Bible thumping, Mass practicing Christians all hot under their religious collars. An avowed atheist and socialist (sigh! I can’t come out), Sanger believed in eugenics, too. If we’d followed her earlier we wouldn’t have the drag on Social Security and Medicare money we have from these bitter life clingers. Sanger didn’t like the handicapped, feebleminded, morons, insane or epilpetics, but who does?
Cloward and Piven …
Cloward and Piven aren’t as well known as some of these others, but that’s probably good – for us. But I’ll give them a shoutout anyhow. Without these two Columbia University professors we wouldn’t have a game plan. Or Fannie and Freddie the Community Reinvestment Act, TARP and a disintegrating economy. Brave souls, Richard Cloward and Frances Piven started overwhelming the system 40 years ago using a manufactured crisis and what do you know? Today I’m President. Thanks, guys!
I’m throwing Jane Fonda in for your mother. Like Mom, she wants to decide what Americans eat and get you to feel the burn and get out and exercise. Fonda made a hot movie, “Barbarella,” and that gets her points with me. Then she went to North Vietnam to protest the war in the ’60s. Seated on an anti aircraft battery making signs with her hands in a kind of primitive fist pump, Fonda wanted to stop the war and accused the U.S. of torture. She made a lot of people mad, including John McCain, held prisoner during her shenanigans. Nuff said!
The era of the Vietnam War gave us a lot of heroes, as you might have noticed. What a time to be alive! I was, of course, if I could ever find that birth certificate for the year. But I didn’t live it. We’re trying to recreate it now. So a tip of the hat to another hero, Walter Cronkite. If you want to make someone acceptable as he spews outrageous, left wing things, just give him a nice sounding name, like “Uncle Walter” Cronkite and dub him “the most trusted man in America” and watch the propaganda go down smoother than my “Yes We Can.” Delivering the news on TV, he looked like your grandfather but undercut the nation with a young man’s vengeance. The good evidently don’t die young because Uncle Walter held on to age ’92.
I saved the best for last. Saul Alinsky. Community organizer, he was the oak from which all the Acorns fell. Right in our own Chicago. He wrote “Rules for Radicals” which is our 10 Commandments, Bible, Koran. It told how ordinary citizens could subvert the system with a blueprint for revolution but called social justice. He dedicated it to Lucifer. Now that takes guts in 20th century America. The genius was that even seeing that dedication, Americans still wouldn’t believe it. Just like they don’t want to believe I’m doing what I’m really doing either.
Study these outstanding citizens, girls. Now that’s my America!