Best Leave These Off the Menu

Say What?
Say What?

An emergency room doctor once groaned that the worst day of his year was Thanksgiving. Something about family members gathering, imbibing alcohol and carving up a turkey with a big knife seemed to bring more people to the hospital than any other day.

All that family closeness, it seems.

In that spirit, Midtown Republican offers some phrases you may want to avoid if you’re gathering with other family members who don’t see things the right way.

“Speaking of turkeys, did you see what Obama just did?” might not be the best opening question. Granted it applies to almost every aspect of his policies, but the in-law who still has “Yes We Can” on the bumper just might take offense.

Resist the temptation to gloat over the midterm elections. Sure you want to, especially after 2008. Yes, you’d like to say how it was the worst drubbing since 1948 and that the legislatures turned GOP, too, ensuring a decade of happy Republican redistricting. But, in the spirit of our forefathers who sat down with the Indians and didn’t talk about districts, it’s best to forgo this. However, you can store it for a zinger at a future time.

Another topic you might want to avoid is TV. In particular, “I called in and voted for Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ Wasn’t she terrific?” Someone might choke on a big piece of humble pie and that would not be nice. Along similar lines, family TV seems to be an irritant to many died in the wool liberals. So, “I wonder if the Duggars are going to have that 20th child; I love it when conservative families can fill a stadium!” could seriously annoy the dedicated eco-conscious, tree hugging, recycler worried that too many of us are choking mother earth. That could get ugly, stay away.

Even out of office, President Bush still makes Democrats rant and rave. His new book, “Decision Points,” may have been an enjoyable read, but, trust me, don’t share that information. “I guess it will sell more copies than Obama’s” would annoy them, partiularly followed by “at least he wrote it himself.” Liberals are sensitive about their literary tastes.

Personal financial information has always been taboo at parties, so I would refrain from “Glad I followed Glenn Beck’s advice and bought gold at $700; I bet it hits $1,500!” Even if you volunteer to share your economic tips and advice in the nicest manner, they will not appreciate it.

Similarly, talk of the hike in your insurance premium will not gain you points. And, the likelihood is that they already work for a government agency or company that got a waiver. In this case, you’re going to get a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

But probably the worst comment you could make, the one that could get you  kicked out of the house (should you be visiting) is “I went to the Glenn Beck ‘Restoring Honor’ rally in Washington. It was great! Want to see my pictures?” You’ve been warned. This could send one of them over the edge or you to the hospital. And I won’t be available to pick you up.

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