‘Twas the Week before Christmas

William Kristol
William Kristol

’Twas the week before Christmas, and all through
the House
The liberals were stirring, and boy did they grouse!
While earmarks were hung on the Reid bill with care
In hopes that the public would not see them there,

The “rich folks” were nestled all snug in their bed—
In hopes they’d be spared, like the president said—
While Nancy in kerchief and Bernie in cap
Were hunting for corpses that Congress could tap.

So the week before Christmas there came the big test:
Did liberals still have the power to best
The public and almost the whole GOP,
Or had they been routed?—yes, that’s what we’d see.

The tax cutters crushed all the Dems in their way,
And the omnibus crashed like a blown-out soufflé.
In the end, we discovered, elections do matter—
And so does a public that makes a loud clatter.

A tax cut for Christmas is mighty surprisin’,
With nary an earmark to cloud the horizon—
Obamacare’s reeling, there’s progress in ’Stan,
It’s important next year that we stick with the plan.

By then we’ll have entered the era of Boehner:
Our pocketbooks fuller, our politics saner.
We’ll even buy beers for the lib’ruls to cry in
When they see the budget from Chairman Paul Ryan.

So The Standard exclaims, with the future so bright:
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

— William Kristol, The Weekly Standard

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