98% Lie

Stu Burguiere, sidekick for Glenn Beck’s radio show, took a look at findings put out concerning Catholics and the HHS mandate. Here’s what he found:

This could potentially be the most blatant misuse of a statistic that I have ever seen. Surely, you’ve heard: 98% of Catholics use contraception.

First, even if that were true, I struggle to understand why that means we should be forcing Catholic-related organizations to go against their own teachings. I am equally stumped as to why we should force insurance companies to give contraception away for free, just because a lot of people like it. When people really like a product, you usually don’t have to give it away.

But, more importantly, the statistic in question, is a complete and total lie. It is being parroted by the media incessantly, and even being used in official Obama administration infographics.

If you take a second to think about it, it’s an obvious lie, one that just doesn’t pass the smell test. Anytime 98% of people supposedly agree on something, a red flag should go up. I mean, when you’re poll looks like the results from a Saddam Hussein election, you know you have problems.

Think about it for a second. Do you even think that 98% of Catholics are having sex? Think about the people you know in your life. Do you think 98% of them are hooking up? Really? Do you think that 92 year-old down the street is living an elderly version of Californication? My guess is no. This little bit of common sense leads to the truth.

The study in question comes from the Guttmacher Institute. Here’s how they get the result:

1) They didn’t count anyone that wasn’t a Catholic woman between the ages of 15-44. Obviously, that eliminates everyone that might be too old or too young to be having sex. But, it also eliminates tens of millions of people who are not too old to be having sex.

2) They didn’t count anyone who was pregnant. Obviously, the vast majority of these people were not using contraception.

3) They didn’t count anyone who just gave birth. Obviously, the vast majority of these people were not using contraception.

4) They didn’t count anyone who hadn’t had sex in the last three months. No, this doesn’t just eliminate ugly people. It eliminates every non-married person who is listening to the Catholic church enough to not have sex outside of marriage. In other words, the most likely group to be listening to the Catholic church about contraception.

5) They didn’t count anyone who was trying to get pregnant, or was indifferent to becoming pregnant. In other words, they eliminated the single most likely group to avoid contraception.

6) They didn’t count anyone who was having sex, trying to avoid pregnancy, but also not using a specific contraception method. I guess this would be the good ol’ “pull-n-pray”—which, incidentally–isn’t as religious as it sounds.

7) Two out of every five women in the survey were so incredibly Catholic that they either attended church services “less than once a month” or “never.” Never?

To summarize:

The study asked a bunch of Catholic women who are both 1) regularly having sex and 2) trying not to get pregnant, whether they’re using contraception. How did you not get 100% on that question? I mean—what are your other options in that situation? Specifically searching out people who are medically sterile? Buying the Cialis mailing list and trying to find guys with ED? Punching dudes in the groin before you hook up?

The truth is, of course, that its simply not true that 98% of Catholics use contraception. It’s absurd. In fact, I’d venture to say that outside of basic human functions like breathing, 98% of Catholics don’t do anything. They’re individuals, making individual decisions.

One final question: If Planned Parenthood is doing such a wonderful job providing low cost contraception to people in need, why does Obamacare have to mandate it?

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